Holy smokes! This could be a problem!
With us moving to Los Angeles, our new home might show up on one of these maps.
How easy is that going to make it for Detective Rocco to nail me? (see this post).
Especially with her international cadre of killer Roccos (see this post).
Damn it!
It just makes sense that our address will be added to these maps.
After all, my screen celebrity is enduring.
Paul Newman and I first worked together in “Slap Shot,” when I was featured in a crowd scene filmed in my hometown of Ligonier, PA.
Then Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts joined me on “Regis and Kathie Lee Live! “where I made Hot Dog Puree and pissed off Regis when I told him my name was Jess, not Charlie. See this post.
I was hot that year! And was next scheduled to appear with Donna Hanover (aka Mrs. Rudy Giuliani) until some chef named Charlie screwed that up. (But I brought along my basket with the Crown Roast of Dogs to the Food Network just in case.)
All that said about my extensive screen history, I may have a solution.
I know a guy (did it!) who works with the California Department of Motor Vehicles to sneak in celebrities at, like, 5:05 p.m., to get their driver’s license.
Seriously, you can’t have Brad Pitt sitting there for three hours with a #243 stub waiting for a window to open.
So maybe there’s a guy who also provides fake addresses for celebrity stars.
On it!