BESTSELLERS & BEST FRIENDS
My book publishing blog, with murder mysteries woven through it.
If this is your first visit, be sure to start with “1. Let’s do it!”
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Freeman called me. “Senator Heinz is looking for somebody who knows book publishing. And also writes books. I thought of you.”
I was immediately curious. A powerful senator. An up-and-comer, with a hell of name. “What is he—”
“I have no idea. I’ve told you everything. I’ll have him get in touch.”
My favorite school trip as a child was the tour of the H.J. Heinz factory in Pittsburgh. We walked hallways with large glass windows and watched ketchup, relish, mustard, and another 54 things being made. Then we went to the Heinz cafeteria where each of us were served two hot dogs. And a choice of 57 condiments. Then, before we got back on the school bus, we each got a green pickle pin.
Anyway, my phone soon rang, and I got a “please hold for Senator Heinz.”
He seemed like a nice guy. But he had the oddest request. Which I’m revealing here for the first time ever.
He had a manuscript. Great!
For a hot dog cookbook. WTF?
That’s right. He loved hot dogs. And was proud of how his family had made hot dogs even better. He had favorite recipes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He called his book, “The Hot Dog Cookbook.” And, to quote Heinz, “I have the greatest subtitle ever—'The Wiener Work the World Awaited.’”
But it gets crazier.
He didn’t want his name on the book. He said, “a book about wieners doesn’t seem senatorial. But it should be out there. For the good of America and the hot dog.”
Now get ready...he then said, “Could you pretend to be its author? You write books. You know the biz, you could find a publisher. And maybe after I retire from the Senate, we can reveal the secret and start donating royalties to a charity.”
He said he trusted me. Just like he trusted Freeman.
I hesitated.
Then he promised that once he retired and went public about his authorship, he’d do everything he could to cause big bun and big wiener companies to put the same number of buns and hot dogs in their packaging.
That did it! I was in!
Traditional package of TEN hot dogs and traditional package of EIGHT hot dog buns. Argh!
We did not have a written agreement.
He sent me the manuscript.
Tomorrow: Getting a book publisher